A Letter to My Fear
Mr. Wyre,
It has come to my attention in the past twenty-seven and one-half years I have continuously and routinely wished to attempt audacious new endeavors and, instead of bravely adventuring into the unknown, you have swiftly discouraged me through thoughts of doubt and anxious discomfort or by immediately assassinating my willpower with the dull blade of apathy. This has happened no matter the size or make of the deed, whether it be as private as learning to cook or as public as singing in front of a group. You have been habitual in causing discomfort and your objections as consistent as nightfall. Because I trusted you, I thought you knew best and acquiesced to your urgings. I would quit before I even began.
As this has come to my attention, I have now realized you are not my best judgement. In fact, your judgement of my character and my abilities is always partially, if not wholly, inaccurate. Your judgements of myself are based in current reality and take ample notice of my incompetencies and insecurities but fail to take into account my ability to adapt, innovate, learn, and grow. In the instances when I have no choice but to move forward - despite you pulling the emergency brake of my mind - the fear and discomfort you promise disappear as I gain experience and the “unknown” becomes the “known”. As I grow in ability and competency, my enjoyment grows as well. I have learned to enjoy the challenge of the unknown.
Which brings me to the point of my letter, old friend. Do not worry, your opinions are still as welcome as they have ever been but I do believe we need a change in the dynamic of our relationship. I understand I cannot divorce myself from you and I also have no wish to ignore you as you have been useful and of good judgement in a certain few scenarios. In addition, I suspect ignoring a part of myself is an easy path toward insanity. However, your suggestions and opinions will now be received in a new way. Instead of the reluctant acceptance of your advice, I will now be critically evaluating the validity of your objections by one question and one question only: “Am I in real danger?”
If the answer to this question is “yes”, then I will gladly defer to your judgement. If, however, the answer is “no” then I will be taking your objections as an indicator that true enjoyment is probably on the other side of the discomfort you cite. You see, I’ve been knocked down and I’ve always gotten back up. Life has even knocked me out a couple of times but in each case I’ve woken up. People have counted me out, and all the same I’ve found a way to count myself in. I’ve felt humiliation, even so I’ve grown in confidence. And I’ve failed enough times to understand there is always another opportunity around the corner.
Your disbelief in my competencies and abilities will now be embraced as a proper challenge. Your doubt will be my fire, your discouragement fuel for my heart. Your discomfort is my starting pistol and your hesitation my right-of-way. My life will be bigger than fear and insecurity. My life will include the scars of battle and the achievements of those who dare to try.
You can continue to doubt me. You can continue to write me off. You can continue trying to subdue me. Nevertheless, I’m stepping into the ring of life and coming out a winner.
I’ll show you how great I am.